


Another Chance At Love

by Eternalxblossom



Category: Haven (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-04
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-11-12 01:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18001295
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eternalxblossom/pseuds/Eternalxblossom
Summary: The troubles are gone and Nathan is desperately trying to move on, after letting Audrey go into the barn once more, this time with no hope of her ever returning. But is she really gone? Nathan-centric, Nathan/Paige. (post series finale).





	1. Chapter 1

Home is a notion Nathan Wuornos always associated with a place – Haven. He was born and raised there and the small coastal town became a part of him growing up, such a strong, vital element of his identity that he never could separate himself from it, not even when he wanted to, not even when he saw its darkest horrors, he couldn't walk away. For those on the outside looking in, Haven seemed like a nice, quiet little town, charming people with its stillness, its certain coastal breeze, its energy. But for those who have known it for years and seen its darkest, most gruesome, at times unconcealed sides, it was far more than that.

Haven was both a mystery and a curse to its inhabitants, not so much to the outside world who knew nothing of it, who only understood bits and pieces of a fabricated truth designed to keep the troubles an even bigger mystery to the outsiders than they were to those experiencing them firsthand. When they returned, Nathan saw his greatest fear and nightmare up to that point come to life, apart from his mother passing away when he was just a boy – the return of his inability to feel, the one that made him so much less, the one that made his life almost unbearable to live. But he couldn't drown too much in that, not when those around him dealt with much worse – controlling the weather, experiencing everything that happened in dreams whilst awake, being a bullet magnet. He had no right to make it about him. He had a responsibility far greater than that.

In spite of everything, he still saw Haven as a home especially because of the people in it – those that were so connected to him, and not just because they shared similar afflictions, but because they understood each other, they stuck together. They weren't their troubles – they were whole people outside of them, struggling to live, struggling not to hurt anybody. They weren't monsters, contrary to what the Rev preached - they were painfully human. They were never at fault for the suffering they experienced.

When Audrey came along, his sense of home unexpectedly changed. He came to associate that notion with a person, rather than a place. Somehow she had managed to become a key part of his world. She became his home, his family. He never saw it coming - not the overly guarded version of himself, strenghtened by years of living on the outside - being considered an outcast and never quite fitting in because he wasn't "a real boy", as Duke so eloquently put it once just out of spite. But Audrey gave him a purpose above himself, one that kept him going on no matter what.

Audrey Parker stormed into his life unannounced, took him by storm, broke down his walls and his stoic façade and gradually changed him. She made him real. She made him feel again. She made him special and worthy. She made him realize that he was a part of something bigger than he could have ever anticipated.

It started with her tasting his coffee just to make sure it was the right temperature, inside jokes, partnership and looking out after each other when solving cases, it continued with hints of jealousy they both couldn't admit to, namely when Jess and Chris came along, words unspoken and long-repressed feelings finally expressed - maybe longer than they should've taken to be confessed. Before any of them realized it, they both changed each other in more ways than they ever fully understood.

Nathan never loved Audrey because she was the only thing in this world that he could feel. He did seek more physical contact after finding out, but he never forced Audrey to do anything against her will – he didn't want to make her feel like he was using her. He was patient and graceful and when she finally found out the truth, she gave him little gifts simply because she wanted to, because she wanted to have his spellbound look on her and her only – casual touches on the shoulder, hand-holding, anything just to see his eyes lighten up and that soft smile tugging at his lips – the same lips she found herself staring at every single time he worked overtime and it was just the two of them enjoying the calm and the quiet, every single time her heart ached for her to say more but she couldn't, instead settling for _"I'll see you tomorrow, Nathan."_

No. Nathan's love for Audrey knew no bounds and no one could come between it – not even her past reincarnations, Croatoan, the void, William, the barn, no one. It was a bond between two people that went beyond the rules of space and time, it was love in its purest form. Unconditional. Eternal. Unyielding.

Which was all the more reason why it was so hard for him to let go, time and time again. To let go of his jealousy over her going with Duke to Colorado instead of him, to let go of his constant impulse to protect her, to keep all the evils of the world at bay, to keep her safe, to let go of the things he couldn't explain and focus on those he could, those that held certainty – something he craved in a mystery-filled town. He loved Audrey more than life itself. He was in love with Audrey. That he knew. That he couldn't let go of.

So when she walked into the barn the first time, it crushed him. He almost wished he could've died right then. He grieved, he suffered, he let people beat him up for money because he couldn't feel anything anymore, he was just numb. He never thought he'd see her again, never fought he'd fight again to keep her close to him, safe, just to be forced to let her go again, even when every fiber of his being was screaming at him not to do it. Not again. Not like that.

But he had no choice. The second time he finally knew, finally understood - he's been spending so much time trying to keep her there when, just maybe, the real reason why he loved her so much was because she was willing to go, she was willing to sacrifice everything for this town, for him, for the sake of doing what was right. She told him _. I have to go away. And this time I'm not coming back._ And no words crushed him more than those. He remembered her tired voice, her exhausted outer visage, her tear-stricken blue eyes so vividly. She made him promise he'd move on and find someone else, but he knew he never could. But for her, he'd try. He'd do anything.

Saying goodbye to her then felt like saying goodbye to the only real home he's ever known. Audrey told Croatoan that he was her family - and he knew, for the longest time, maybe ever since he saved her from that falling vehicle – that she'd be his family too, the only person that still held on to him when the world crumbled, the only one he could count on, the person who taught him how to do the right thing even when it meant putting your happiness on hold, your dreams.

When he walked away from Audrey, his one true love, he knew it in his heart that it was what she wanted. That it was the right thing. And he would do anything for her, so he did. He tried to move on. He tried to engage in small talk with Gloria about Duke a few weeks after – his friend, a hero, the bravest man he's ever known , he tried to ignore that guilt and that ache and not focus on any of it but ache was everything he could feel after losing the two people who meant the most to him. How could he move on? How could he gaze at that drawing of Audrey that Vickie made for him without feeling his heart shatter with each lingering glance? How could he enjoy the quiet of the small town he's grown up in, now released from the burden of the troubles, those horrible curses people never deserved? How could he go on that fishing trip with Dwight and pretend that he's whole, when he still felt so broken inside, so torn apart, so alone?

He didn't know the answer to those questions just yet but he knew he could do it, because they would want that for him, they would want him to at least try. And he would. For their sake. What he had no way of knowing was that, after driving away from The Gull that day, his life would never be the same again. Because he'd find his way back to Audrey, back home. One way or the other.


	2. Chapter 2

Nathan took one last calming, soothing breath and decided he’d go on that fishing trip after all. He owed it to Audrey, his one true love –or at least, her memory, as much as he rather preferred not to reduce her to just a fleeting reminder of before, of how it felt to be alive and whole and not just a walking, numb, shadow of a man. He owed it to Duke – his friend, a man who deserved a far better fate than the one he got. He owed it to them to move on and at least try to live his life to the best of his ability. So, he got into that familiar Ford Bronco he held so close to his heart even if it was nothing but a car – because that car held his most fond memories. Of Audrey. Of his childhood. Of simpler times.

As he drove in silence, the faint sound of the radio  resonating in the background, he sighed once more, catching his own reflection in the mirror. He looked older, more tired, less whole. Brushing aside those thoughts, Nathan tried to focus on the road and forget, at least momentarily, when he saw another vehicle parked on the side of the road. Being the hero that he was – or maybe just a concerned citizen/chief of police- he got up from the truck to see if the driver was okay.

The closer he got to the vehicle, the more of a familiar female voice he kept hearing – _“Why isn’t it working? I just put gas in it. Ugh, you’ve got to be kidding me.”_

As he got closer to the passenger’s seat, his heart raced and his chest ached, as he held his breath in anticipation. For a moment there, he thought it was all in his head. But he could recognize that voice out a thousand others. When the driver turned towards him, alerted by his presence, his breath hitched in his throat, as a single hushed word escaped his parted lips:

“Parker..” – he whispered lowly in a mesmerized haze. It couldn’t be her. It simply couldn’t. It had to be a dream, or a nightmare. A pleasant illusion or the cruelest gift he could ever get – because it would sure get stolen away once he’d wake up in his cold, dark room and realize it was all in his head.

But it wasn’t. He knew if he’d pinch himself or close his eyes and open them again, he’d still be graced with the same image. Her gaze held the answers to all of the questions he had. She looked the same  - except for the hair color and that silly little beanie the real detective Audrey Parker might’ve reconsidered as a fashion choice. The blue of her eyes still held the same beauty and certainty, mystery and transparency as always, as he remembered them. Her presence was inviting, soothing, drawing him in and partly scaring him to death. He barely heard what she said next. All of it, really.

“Well, I did, actually, I didn’t park her as much as I broke her. But do you think that you can help?” – she asked, and he froze on the spot. It took him a couple of seconds to answer, to catch his breath, to realize.

“Yeah..” – he said then moved slightly to the side, exposing the weapon attached to his belt.

“Oh my god!” – she yelled in disbelief, taking him aback for a moment. She was Audrey underneath but this version of her clearly wasn’t a cop. He’d be amused under any other circumstances but he was too busy being shell-shocked.

“No, it’s okay, I’m a cop.” – he reassured her, calmly.

“You’re a cop?”  - she asked, half incredulously, half excited – like a child in a toy store.  He would’ve laughed at that reaction but he couldn’t find it in himself to do so.

“I’m a..I’m a Nathan.” – he stumbled across his words clumsily. After all this time, she still made him nervous. The realization made him oddly happy.

“Alright, that’s good, officer Nathan. I’m broke down Paige, think maybe you can help me get it started? I need to get James some food before he has a meltdown.”

“James?” – he whispered under his breath, then turned his gaze towards the back seat.  His heart soared when he saw his son – their son – lying there –free, careless, a bit cranky about his food – just like him. He let out a soft “Hi” , facing that bundle of joy that was his son, not quite believing he was real, but when that playful giggle reached his ears, he froze once more. This was real. This was happening. He didn’t miss Paige’s smile mirroring his, he didn’t miss the way she was looking at him, at them. He could only smile back, not able to say so much more, even though he ached to do it.

“It’s..my son.” – she said, and he didn’t have the heart to correct her. It’s _our_ son. He wanted to say it so badly but he couldn’t.

 “James, yeah..uhh.. Pop the hood?” – he said, doing everything in his power to focus on the task at hand, while simultaneously attempting to ignore the hundred thoughts running through his head all at once.

“Hood’s popped.” – she called out, nervously fixing her look in the mirror while Nathan wasn’t looking. This strange and dare she say insanely cute detective was making her nervous all of a sudden. Warm and fuzzy inside too.

She didn’t see the tears forming in his eyes or the way he struggled to stay composed as he worked on her car, his breath coming in sharp gasps. _Get a grip, Nathan._

“Try it now.”

When she tried to start the engine again and it didn’t work, she sighed and decided she’d call it a day. In the background, she could vaguely make up the sound of that terrible song _“Love Will Keep Us Together”_ by Captain and Tennille coming up on the radio. Worst time ever. Aside from the cute detective giving her a warm smile and a helping hand, her day hadn’t been so great so far. Or at least that’s what she thought – or remembered, for that matter.

“Well, I don’t think that’s a repair.” – she sighed and got up from the car, slamming the door over Nathan’s fingers without even realizing it. He didn’t miss the parallel in the slightest – there was only one difference though - this time he felt it. And this time it actually hurt.

“Oh my god, are you okay?” – she yelled, panicked. “Are you okay?” – she asked again, softer, gazing at Nathan’s face, trying to read him, an apologetic look gracing hers. “Let me at least take you to the hospital.” – she offered, stumbling over her words. She didn’t know if it was guilt or nerves but she had a strange feeling about the mysterious man posing as her knight in shinning armor right then.

“I’m okay.” – he assured, giving her that same warm smile. He was okay. For the first time in hours, days, weeks even.

“Fine.”  - she said, thankful she didn’t do more damage, although she suspected he was just trying to be all manly. _Well isn’t that a tough guy._

“Yeah.”

“Well, can I at least buy you..breakfast?” – she suggested, hesitantly. “Do you like pancakes?”

And that’s when Nathan felt his heart nearly burst inside his chest. It was her. She was back – or at least a very strong part of her. The core was still Audrey. She came back to him. She escaped the barn. Her name was Paige now but..she was still his one true love. She had to be.

“Yeah, I love pancakes.” -  he replied, almost on impulse.

“Me too.” – she voiced back, as Nathan led her to his car.

They drove away towards the closest diner in town, occasionally stealing glances of each other, hoping the other didn’t notice. Nathan did and, as much as he loved pancakes on a daily basis, he never remembered being this excited to share a plate of some than he was right then.

She came back to me. – he kept repeating obsessively in his head, hopelessly attempting to keep his tears in check. She even asked him once if he was alright, noticing his glazed eyes and his pained smile, but he reassured her that it was all right.

He was okay because she was there in the flesh, against all odds. She returned to him, right where she always belonged. His son was there too – he was alive. They could finally have a change at the future they’ve always wanted, always deserved. And he was more than ready to make her fall in love with him all over again. One step at a time. And with pancakes, you can never go wrong.


End file.
